


The Raine Job

by lastchancecafe



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Alexis Rose is a Badass, Alternate Universe - Leverage Fusion, Con Artists, Everyone Lives in New York, F/F, Multi, The Roses Never Lost Their Money, happy endings all around, shameless flirting, the rashomon job
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-12
Updated: 2020-09-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:42:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26321335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lastchancecafe/pseuds/lastchancecafe
Summary: Once Alexis realized that Sebastien was fucking her brother over, literally (ew) and figuratively, it was clear that she was going to have to be the one to step in and handle the situation. It was just like the time she’d had to take down a drug ring from inside a Russian palace-except the wifi was much better in New York!Alexis Rose assembles a team of kindhearted con-artists to protect her brother's gallery and ends up finding something special in the process.Schitt's Creek meets Leverage in an AU New York adventure.
Relationships: Alexis Rose/Twyla Sands, Stevie Budd/Rachel
Comments: 60
Kudos: 17
Collections: Elevate! A Schitt's Creek Femslash Exchange





	1. The Job

**Author's Note:**

  * For [helvetica_upstart](https://archiveofourown.org/users/helvetica_upstart/gifts).



> You asked for some Stevie love and a genre piece- I decided to run with your suggestion of spies and this Leverage AU is the result. Based on one of the best episodes of the show, Alexis assembles the women of Schitt's Creek to take down everyone's favorite hipster scumbag.

**"Ding, ding"**

Stevie lets herself into Alexis’ apartment, immediately realizing why no one heard her attempt to buzz in at the door. 

“That’s almost as bad as the time you had everyone help you steal from my gallery” David is yelling, waving his hands vaguely towards where the TV is showing coverage of the recent vandalism at a local art museum. 

“Oh my god David, for the last time no one actually stole anything from you that night!” 

It's been a while since their schedules allowed them to all hang out together, winding down after a long week. David is yelling at his sister from his perch on Patrick’s lap, while the other man rubs soothing hands down his husband's arms. Alexis is sitting at the other end of her couch, brandishing an OPI bottle like a weapon as she paints her toes. Twyla reaches for the nail polish, pulling the bottle safely from Alexis’s hands and taking over the painting, smiling warmly at Stevie as she enters the fray. 

“Still wish I could have actually gotten my hands on that painting,” Rachel pipes up from her seat on the floor. 

“It’s not like you walked away empty-handed,” Stevie says with a kiss as she helps herself to a sip from her wine glass. Rachel grabs her glass back with a smile before pulling Stevie into her lap. Her hands linger on her hips as she kisses Stevie much more thoroughly. 

“Oh, my god-you _just_ got here! Do you two need a room?”

“Like you two that night?”

“Excuse you it was MY gallery.”

“David, it’s not like we-”

“Ew Patrick- NO ONE wants details.”

David throws a handful of popcorn at his sister with a pout. With a move suggesting years of practice Alexis primly catches a piece in her mouth before leaning back against Twyla with a sigh. 

“Still one of my best jobs, getting all of you together without anyone suspecting-” 

The volume in the apartment climbs as each member of their found family simultaneously begins to recount just how much they knew of that particular evening. 


	2. The Grifter (Rachel)

_“I’d had my eye on that Eugene O’Hara work for a while, I was actually super impressed David had gotten him to agree to sell it.”_

Rachel Faber was a woman who knew what she wanted. After 15 years of working at the wrong thing with her high school sweetheart, she had been more than ready to start fresh in New York. She'd leveraged her editorial skills into writing a food blog highlighting female-owned bars and restaurants. Her cutting sarcasm and suggestively tasteful photos had bumped her blog, That Girl Eats, to Instagram influencer status leading to private interviews across the city. The food at those stories was _almost_ as good as the company.

When Alexis Rose had slipped into her DM’s to collaborate on a project she’d been intrigued. When said project included working with her brother, a private gallery owner with connections to her favorite artist, she’d been sold. 

She’d spent months coordinating with Alexis on the galleries social media overhaul, simultaneously charming David with coffee dates, pizzas, and unsolicited advice on his love life. She'd endeared herself to the Roses and made herself so integral to the galleries day-to-day no one would dare lay suspicion on her if something were to go wrong. 

Which is why she planned to make her move during the gallery's biggest event of the summer. 

**August 9th, 2017**

**8:13 pm**

“Rachel, so glad you could make it tonight!” David’s voice was high and breathy, a sure sign something had him on edge. She gave his shoulder a quick squeeze and grabbed them each a glass of champagne from a passing waitress. The last thing she needed was her mark having a panic attack this early in the night. 

Passing a glass to David she scanned the room for any potential sources of anxiety. She took in the familiar form of Alexis coming out of the back with a waitress, a lost-looking man in a blue button-down, and a gorgeous woman in a black tuxedo jumpsuit. Her gaze was interrupted when the gallery's head of security made himself known by tracing his hand along the hem of her dress.

“Aren’t you looking lovely tonight Ms. Faber.”

She was.

The sequined, emerald [number](https://www.net-a-porter.com/en-us/shop/product/16arlington/one-sleeve-draped-sequined-tulle-mini-dress/1219065?gclsrc=aw.ds&cm_mmc=Google-ProductSearch-US--c-_-NAP_EN_US_PLA-_-NAP+-+US+-+GS+-+Sale+-+1MD+-+Designer+-+SS20+-+BT--Sale+-+Clothing_AM&gclid=CjwKCAjwsan5BRAOEiwALzomX5-KWx1GaRqFwblFdlhCPivrpyhkSJiSf8DczqX4LrIKvO-t_2x_yhoCg_sQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds) had yet to fail her on a job and tonight was proving no exception. Rachel had found the easiest way to avoid suspicion was by being the most noticeable person in the room. 

“Sebastine,” David’s overly handsy ex was the one she was counting on tonight. She just needed to distract him long enough to slip the keycard off his hip, hopefully without having to actually kiss him. 

“Shouldn’t you be working?” David hissed, “We’ve had three pieces stolen from our last two events. I figured since it’s the last night of the show you’d be a little more hands-on with your work.”

“I can think of a few things I'd like to get my hands on tonight." Rachel tried her best not to roll her eyes, even if she was still into men sleazy had never been her type.

Before the conversation can escalate Alexis is there. She makes an offhand comment about a problem with the guest list, before leading Sebastine and Rachel’s opportunity for his keycard out of the main hall. 

Plan B it is then. 

Flagging down a waiter she grabs another glass of champagne quickly adding a splash of peach juice from the vial in her purse before passing it to David. He still looks edgy, but he gives her a grateful shimmy before downing the glass in one gulp and turning towards a questioning patron with a smile. She almost feels bad for the pain she’s about to inflict on him when- 

“Oh excuse me there.” 

Rachel’s careful attention is interrupted by a drink splashing across her shoes. 

She turns, ready to snap, before letting her gaze trail appreciatively over the offending woman. 

The culprit is the same, brunette who caught her attention before, and the[ jumpsuit](https://www.saksfifthavenue.com/jay-godfrey-roland-tuxedo-jumpsuit/product/0400010401315?clickType=PRODUCT_RECOMMENDATIONS) is even more delicious up close. Rachel lets her eyes travel down the curve of her collarbone to the cleavage she's doing absolutely nothing to hide, before dragging her gaze back up to a pair of mischievous brown eyes. 

“Sorry about your shoes,” she says with a face that is anything but, “I’m Stevie, by the way.” 

“Rachel.”

She says something else, but Rachel is struggling to focus as Stevie steps into her space. Never one to back down from a challenge she's considering kissing her, just to shake off the tension when the lights blink and the moment is gone. 

“Oh my god,” David wheezes from behind her, grabbing at his throat as his eyes widen in panic.

That was fast.

Sidestepping the brunette Rachel grabs the glass from his hand, “This smells like a bellini, aren’t you allergic to peaches?” 

Normally she wouldn’t feed a line to a mark like this but she’s a little concerned at the severity of his reaction. She’d meant to make him freak out a bit, not send him into an actual allergic shock. 

“Should someone call 911?” Stevie asks, apparently unaware of the view she’s giving Rachel as they try to calm David. Except she catches Rachel’s eye and winks, lifting her chest a little higher as she casually loosens his tie. Sooo, not unaware then. 

“Here’s some Benadryl” a waitress approaches with the bottle of pills and a glass of water before disappearing into the crowd. 

“Let’s give him some space,” a familiar voice says, reaching past her to catch David by his shoulders as he collapses. 

Turning away before _he_ can recognize her Rachel takes an artful stumble. She casually slips her hand into Stevie’s jacket, grabbing the keycard she’d noticed there while the other woman was showing off her assets. She lets her lips ghost across Stevie’s ear and whispers “thanks for this darling” before taking off towards the office suite. 

This job is getting a little too crowded for her liking. 

Thankfully the shipping room was relatively quiet. With David indisposed she imagines Alexis will take charge and shut down the event, she plans to be in and out before that's done.

The sales process for DR Galleries is ridiculously straightforward, she’d had David walk her through it over donuts one slow afternoon. She knows the final checks are made by an intern named Connor from the local art program who definitely isn’t earning enough credits to care about double-checking the shipping labels. 

A crash from the hallway catches her attention and Rachel jumps at the reminder that she’s on borrowed time. She watches the doorway closely as the printer spits out label after label. Grabbing the label for her painting, she sends a quick thought of apology to Gwen who’s actually paid for it, before slipping her modified copy into the pile. When the painting is shipped out it will go to the storage facility uptown where she rents a space ready for her to claim whenever she likes. 

The room is quiet except for the hum of the printer. Taking a minute to smooth her hair and make a game plan for a certain brunette Rachel walks out of the shipping area and right into Sebastine Raine.

“I’ve been looking everywhere for you,” he mummers, his hand on her arm leading her forcefully back into the room. “You and I have a lot to talk about Ms. Faber.”


	3. The Hitter (Stevie)

_“I mean I didn’t even want to be there. I took the job because Ronnie called in a favor.”_

**August 9th, 2017**

**11:24 am**

“Just like that”.

“Really?”

“I mean if you can go harder.”

“Oh I can, how’s this?”

Stevie grunts, bracing her arms against the punching bag as she absorbs the shock of Ruth’s roundhouse kick. They’ve been sparring together for weeks, their similar size forcing them to be creative in their attempts to best one another. The verbal barbs aren't bad either. 

Ruth passes her a water bottle before flopping down on the mat patting the space next to her invitingly. Stevie is about to join her when her phone rings, the moment lost for now. 

She answers it with a sigh- Ronnie never had the best timing.

“Budd, I’ve got a little something I need your help with.”

“You’re interrupting my workout, Ronnie, give me a minute.”

Stevie heads towards the front of the gym, mouthing goodbye to Ruth as she goes. Once she reaches the privacy of the parking lot she resumes the call. The job sounds easy enough and Stevie wants to be offended. It’s a simple smash and grab of a Eugene O’Hara piece from some up and coming gallery. She considers turning it down but Ronnie is insistent. She owes some consultant a favor and the girl is paying more than fair price for the work. 

She has Ronnie text her the info and heads back inside, frowning at the abandoned punching bag. Throwing her phone to the side she pulls her hair back and resumes pounding the sandbag with all of her sexual frustrations. 

**August 9th, 2017**

**8:25 pm**

Stevie is still on edge as she pulls up to the gallery space. She hates going into a job, even an easy one, on such short notice. A quick internet search had told her all she needed to know about David Rose, his gallery, and his messy breakup with the man running his galleries security. If the tabloids were to be believed he knew how to have a good time, which means she's expecting an open bar at the very least. 

When she'd first started working for Ronnie the older woman had suggested she find a uniform that played up her assets, reminding her that a distracted mark is always easier to take down. Stevie had kept that in mind as she dressed for the night, knowing she could easily feel out of place at such an event.

She smoothed the wrinkles from her suit as she stepped from her Uber, pulling out just enough cleavage to get herself past the bored-looking kid checking the list at the door. She took the opportunity to grab his keycard from the clip at his waist, tucking the plastic securely into the inside pocket of her jacket before looking up. She feels like she’s being watched. 

Chalking the feeling up to accepting a job so last minute she makes her way to the bar. A shot or three of whiskey should take care of the nerves. She makes small talk with the bartender, an overly friendly woman in a cat ear headband of all things, while she takes stock of the space. 

It's an open concept gallery, stark white walls letting the works on display speak for themselves. Stevie can see several smaller rooms tucked along the back of the main space and an armed door along the side that must lead to the office and shipping spaces. 

Whiskey acquired, she takes her time to observe the bodies tucked between the art. She sees David Rose talking with the tabloid ex. Whatever the conversation is it’s not pleasant and by the time he leaves on the arm of another woman David is looking flustered and a little sad. 

Stevie is on her way to distract him with a drink, her favorite way to get a mark talking when she’s jostled into another patron. She turns-mumbling an apology about the shoes-and is met with an incredible smile in a short sequined dress. 

Fuck, she really wants to kiss her. 

“I’m Stevie.”

She steps closer, taking in the toned calves and soft curves of the woman in front of her. She's mentally reworking her plan, wondering if one of those back rooms has enough privacy to connect before she absolutely has to go downstairs when the other woman steps into her space twirling a lock of auburn hair around her finger with a calculated smile. 

“Rachel.”

Stevie leans in further, close enough to kiss her. She can feel her desire buzzing beneath her skin and she'd swear the lights flickered, but maybe that's just the whiskey. Rachel’s lips are inches from her own when a commotion pulls them apart. 

David Rose drops to the floor, clutching at his throat and Stevie jumps into action. She may be here to steal from the guy but’s she’s not about to let anyone die on her watch. She loosens his tie and debates calling 911 when she hears Rachel mutter something about an allergy and- _wait_ does she know this guy?

Before she can follow that thought any further someone is bringing Benadryl and water and she holds David up while another guest gets him to swallow the pills. 

Suddenly Rachel is reaching towards her and Stevie can’t help but catch her gaze with a wink. She feels the warmth of her fingers across the skin of her chest and then the rustle of fabric as Rachel pulls the keycard from her breast pocket. 

It takes Stevie a minute to bring her brain back online-it’s been a while since someone has managed to outplay her on a job. If she wasn’t so turned on she’d actually be a little impressed. She watches Rachel slip towards the office suite, keycard in hand, already plotting how to continue their game. 

At that moment David goes limp and she’s forced to brace herself before he knocks them both to the floor. Thankfully the other man is there to catch most of his weight muttering something about getting him to an office. She turns to agree, mentally plotting out the distance between the office suite and the shipping area when she’s met with a familiar pair of warm, brown, eyes. 

What the fuck is Patrick Brewer doing here? 

Stevie has paired up with him on a couple of jobs for Ronnie in the past, the guy is a talented hacker even if his personality is too eager for her liking. Thankfully Ronnie seems to agree so she doesn't subject Stevie to him too often. 

Suddenly it hits her. 

The power blip she’d noticed is a sure sign that Patrick's go-to program is breaching the security system. He’s working the same job, although he seems more than a little distracted by the unconscious David Rose currently held up between them. 

Something doesn’t add up. Ronnie would never send the two of them on a job against each other, at least not without telling them she’d done so in order to tease Patrick mercissly. Rachel is obviously here for something too. 

So much for a simple smash and grab. 

With a shake of her head, Stevie takes charge of the situation, hoping to salvage some part of the evening. 

“Is there an office nearby we can put him in?” she asks aloud. 

A woman introduces herself as David's sister and life coach before pointing them towards the set of locked doors. Stevie and Patrick carry David through the doors to a short hallway. Using David’s keycard they navigate awkwardly through the hall and into a small office where she promptly drops her half of the unconscious man on the couch.

“Funny seeing you here tonight Brewer...” she trails off her statement intentionally knowing he won’t be able to resist filling her silence. 

“Yeah-uh I'm here to- uh,” he's rubbing the back of his neck as his eyes dart around the room. 

He glances from the laptop on the desk to the doorway to Stevie, focusing anywhere except on the man passed out between them. _Interesting_. 

“So... what are you going to do with him?”

Stevie watches with glee as the slight blush creeps up from his neck to the top of his ears. He opens and closes his mouth several times, buffering like one of his computer programs. 

“Well I happen to actually be here to work, so if you don't mind looking after this,” she gestures suggestively towards the body on the couch. Patrick coughs, still not meeting her eyes. She takes a quick look at the door, noting the height of the handle, before grabbing the desk chair and pulling it out into the hall with her. 

“By the way Brewer,” she calls through the door as she tucks the chair securely under the handle keeping them in place, “ I like this for you.” 

She can barely hear his muffled “Stevie” as she checks her work, confident that they won’t be leaving the office anytime soon.

She pockets the dummy keycard she pulled off Patrick and begins her search for the shipping area. The weakest point of any security system is when an item is being loaded for shipping and she plans to take full advantage of that weakness to finish this job. And maybe reconnect with a certain redhead in the process. 

Thankfully the gallery is not large and the shipping and packing area is nothing more than a long table covered in boxes and tape. A bored-looking rent-a-cop stands guard sits next to a whirring printer, engrossed in some game on his phone. 

Given the fact that the gallery owner is currently passed out on the couch in his office, she imagines they’ll be shutting the event down and starting the packing process sooner rather than later. She makes quick work of the guard, knocking him to the floor and grabbing his phone before dragging him across the hall to the supply closet. 

Checking the shipping station she notices the printer is still churning out labels. Meaning she’s too early to know which box she’ll need to watch for. With a sigh of frustration, she settles into a dark corner of the hallway, giving her a clear sightline into the room. As soon as the action picks up she’ll be able to finish the job.

Settling in to wait she opens up the guard's phone and starts in on the next level of his solitaire game. Five levels later she watches Rachel walks into the shipping area, interesting. She’s just about to follow her when Rachel comes back out and walks right into the arms of the galleries head of security.


	4. The Hacker (Patrick)

_“So I might have had an alternate motive for being there that night…”_

**August 9th, 2017**

**8:31 pm**

So maybe hacking his way into David Rose’s security system isn’t the best way to get his attention, but he’s honestly out of ideas. He’s still not sure what it is that has him so intrigued, but he hasn’t been able to stop thinking about him since David stopped by Ray’s to drop off his quarterly tax paperwork. 

Patrick had come by the gallery several times, excuses of misplaced forms and extra signatures needed dying on his lips as he watched David at work. Every time he gathered up the courage to start a conversation he’d been interrupted by the gallery's social media manager Alexis. 

She’s really sweet and obviously cares about her brother and his gallery, even if her efforts seem a little aggressive. Honestly, he’s been overwhelmed by her oversharing. She’s told him so much about the gallery's lack of security and David’s struggles to work with Sebastine after their breakup. Though he can’t really complain since that’s what gave him the idea for tonight. 

Thankfully Alexis was thrilled to add him to the list for the event, even at the last minute. She’s been buzzing around him all night making introductions and he’s impressed at how well she seems to know everybody. Still, she’s been a little too handsy and he’s worried it’s going to send the wrong message. 

So when she steps away from him to go check on David he doesn’t follow. Patrick takes a moment to check the phone in his pocket. The security bug is hovering right at the 98% mark, another minute or two and he’ll be in. 

He can see Alexis- arguing with both men in the corner of the room. Whatever Sebastine is saying must hit a nerve. He watches Alexis all but drags him out of he room leaving David alone. Patrick watches him twist his rings around with a frown, pausing as he accepts a drink from a patron. He’s still watching David carefully when the lights blink.

He’s in. 

Now all he has to do is head to the back office using the dummy key he copied. From there he can change the shipping label on the package and the Eugene O’Hara piece will be sent directly to him. It’s the perfect plan, each step designed to highlight a flaw in the security system that he can easily fix. David will have no choice but to be impressed. 

That’s when David drops to the floor. 

He rushes to his side, accepting some medication and water from a friendly waitress as another woman loosens David’s tie. He’s checking for a pulse and trying not to panic when a familiar voice says something about an allergy- that explains the Benadryl he’s holding. 

He looks over his shoulder just in time to see Rachel walking towards the doors of the office suite. Before he has a chance to process the fact that she's here David goes limp in his arms. Patrick catches his weight and lowers him softly to the floor as his eyes connect with the other patron helping out- Stevie. 

This is not how he planned this evening to go. 

Somehow when he imagined himself impressing David with ways to improve the security system he hadn't expected to end the evening with Stevie locking him in an office while his crush sleeps off a Benadryl induced coma on the couch. 

As that wasn’t bad enough that fact that Rachel and Stevie were both here meant that there was something much bigger going on. He knew Rachel had been plenty busy since they’d parted ways for good. And he and Stevie had worked jobs together for Ronnie in the past, though he wouldn't put it past the coordinator to pit them against each other on a job. Ronnie had a soft spot for Stevie and absolutely no patience for Patrick, she seemed to think that his work as a hacker made him too soft for the so-called _real work_ of a job... not that she'd said as much the last time he'd had to call her to help patch Stevie up after a particularly bruising scuffle. 

Running his hand through his hair with a sigh he tries to force himself to focus. 

He thinks back to what Alexis had been telling him earlier, something about David’s asshole ex and all the problems that had been coming up at spaces where he’d been running security. Patrick looks between the laptop on the desk and the couch where David is snoring softly. He brings the laptop over, leaving a respectable amount of space between them as he watches the other man fondly. 

He can do a little digging before he has to text Alexis to come let them out of here. 


	5. The Thief (Twyla)

_"Honestly I was doing it to help out Alexis-that and I really did like that painting"_

Twyla had learned several things from her cousin's most recent boyfriend Jake. How to make a perfect whiskey sour, the importance of carrying a first aid kit, and how to handle a rotary saw. Jake had moved for a job, something with whiskey? But he’d kept family dinners interesting while he was around. 

She loves her work as a caterer. But New York rent is expensive and she’s not above using the other talents she's honed to supplement her income. 

Twyla always chose her marks carefully. Small scale events with an expensive clientele, the kind of people who wouldn’t really miss the money. David Rose is an ideal client. She’s done the catering at his galleries before- he was a big fan of her mozzarella bites- which gave her an easy in for this job. He’s always been aloof but kind and she'd feel bad taking advantage of him if it weren’t for Alexis. 

Between face masks and manicures she’d told Twyla how David hired his boyfriend’s company to run security at the gallery. Alexis thought they were shady but David had accused her of being jealous. Two weeks later Alexis was sharing the details of their messy breakup between bites of lo mein, worried that he was actively sabotaging the gallery. Alexis knew all about her side hustle, they'd met while she was commandeering Stravos' yacht, and she'd pressed Twyla for her professional opinion on the matter. 

Five minutes after that Alexis had dropped a noodle down the front of her dress, derailing the conversation in favor of more pressing pursuits.

Alexis had stopped bringing it up after that. Weeks later, Twyla had developed a plan of her own. She'd decided on the Eugene O’Hara piece because it would move quickly and give her enough money to cover the cost of a commercial dishwasher for the cateing kitchen. It wasn’t the biggest piece on display but it would be easy to sneak out. Surely having a piece stolen during an event would give David the push he needed to ditch the security guy for good.

And really, who doesn't love an excuse to impress their girlfriend?

**August 9th, 2017**

**8:47 pm**

This was her favorite type of event. David had complimented the food no less than 5 times as she'd set it out, shyly bringing a whole tray of mozzarella bites back to his office. 

Twyla had taken advantage of the brief moment of privacy to stash her gear under one of the catering tables before settling into hostess mode for the first part of the evening.

She's making the rounds, enjoying all the beautiful people and art filling the space. She laughs as she watches Alexis charm a man in a tight blue button-up and runs David a glass of champagne from a woman who really should take her girlfriend anywhere but the main floor. She and Alexis had thoroughly explored the screaming room earlier-maybe she’ll recommend they do the same.

For now she needs a momentary distraction to let her slip under the table. From there it's just a short drop into the open air vent to the basement where they’ll be packing the painting for shipping. 

She's about to ditch her tray and get to work when David falls to the floor. 

Lucky for him she keeps Benadryl in her job kit, just like Jake taught her. She hands a couple of pills and a glass of water over to the man helping David before deciding this was the distraction she'd been waiting for. 

She glances back for Alexis, who seems to have disappeared, before sliding softly under the table. The grate to the ventilation shaft comes easily off the screws she'd loosed this morning. She pulls out a flashlight before crawling into the tight space, thankful the years of dedicated yoga practice allow her to easily bend around the tight corners.

She's almost to the air return vent in the shipping space when she stops short, something blocking her path in the vent. 

Twyla’s had enough experience to expect the unexpected on a job. Stealing things is an inherently risky business and she prides herself on her ability to adapt on the fly. Still, she has to admit that it's a first to be crawling through the ventilation ducts intent on stealing a painting only to find said painting sitting in the air vent with her. Even more surprising is the small sticky note in the corner, Alexis's signature scrawl across the bright pink paper. 

Pocketing the note, she rests the painting safely on the floor of the vent before slipping carefully through the grate into the shipping room. She's halfway to the floor when she notices Sebastien holding tight to the redhead who sent David a drink earlier. Knowing better than to leave anyone alone with him Twyla swings herself into the room, using her surprise landing to pull her back from Sebastien's grasp. 

She helps her to her feet, with a smile "Hi, I'm Twyla."

"Rachel are you okay?"

"Stevie?"

“Babe I’m so glad you made it,”

Alexis greets her with a warm smile, not at all surprised by the collection of people in the gallery's shipping room.

“I hope you found the gift I got you,” Alexis looks meaningfully towards the air duct before catching her gaze with a double eyed wink. Twyla steps forward, pressing a small kiss of confirmation to her cheek before turning to survey the scene before them. 


	6. The Mastermind (Alexis)

_“So obviously David needed a little help with this whole situation.”_

It had almost been too easy. Once Alexis realized that Sebastien was fucking her brother over, literally ( _ **ew**_ ) and figuratively, it was clear that she was going to have to be the one to step in and handle the situation. It was just like the time she’d had to take down a drug ring from inside a Russian palace-except the wifi was much better in New York. 

It had actually been Twyla who had given her the idea. They’d been talking about her lucrative side hustle over dinner one night when Alexis realized that she could get Sebastien out of her brother's gallery and maybe earn him a bit of jail time too. 

So she’d started gathering her people. Twyla was in for obvious reasons. Ronnie had been able to recommend Stevie. Patrick had basically tripped over himself at the idea of helping out, poor thing. Rachel had been the wildcard but she was the only grifter she’d been able to find on Instagram who would appeal to both Sebastien and David. A few DMs and one coffee date later they'd managed to bond over stories of their exes and a mutual appreciation of David’s taste in art. 

**August 9th, 2017**

**8:02 pm**

The whole night was unfolding perfectly. She’d grabbed Patrick at the door and kept him close, casually mentioning all of her thoughts about Sebastien's work at the gallery and hoping he’d be able to fill in the gaps once he’d hacked their computer system. The two of them had circled the room together until she’d had to go save David from himself. 

By the time she’d separated David and Sebastien, she’d watched Rachel enter the gallery, bump into Stevie, and almost run down poor Twy in her attempt to get a drink. She’s about to pawn Sebastien off on Gwen, one of the more chatty patrons here tonight when her idiot brother drops to the floor. 

After making sure he’s not like actively dying Alexis leaves him in Patrick’s perfectly capable hands, closing the gallery down and keeping an eye on Sebastien. She watches Rachel disappear, then Twyla, and she can’t help but let out a little squeal at a job well done. 

Of course, Sebastien just has to go and make things awkward. She slips off her [snakeskin Isabel Marant’s](https://www.saksfifthavenue.com/isabel-marant-adeia-ankle-wrap-snakeskin-embossed-leather-thong-sandals/product/0400012223904?site_refer=CSE_GGLPLA:Womens_Shoes:Isabel+Marant&CSE_CID=G_Saks_PLA_US_Women%27s+Shoes:Sandals&gclid=CjwKCAjw4_H6BRALEiwAvgfzq9ZDog1ECbV1Z-Wve3Qw7OxGWHpwvy3NnX8gmgiP3y4DGTx7Ev3qyxoCpbkQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds) and quietly follows him towards the back of the gallery. There’s a chair pushed against the door of David’s office _\- yay button-_ and if she wasn’t counting on David's terrible timing she’d totally leave them to it. Instead, she slides it out from under the handle before continuing towards the shipping area. 

She rounds the corner into absolute chaos. Twyla pulls Rachel out of Sebastien's sleazy grip and Stevie grabs him in a gentle chokehold. There's a ripple of recognition among her unwitting team and Alexis breathes in the feeling of success. After confirming her girlfriend had found the painting she’d stashed earlier, she steps into the room to take control of the situation. 

“So as you know, you all were invited here tonight to steal the Eugene O’Hara painting. What you don’t know is the reason I wanted you to steal it was so we could catch this sorry excuse of a con-artist in his attempt to frame my brother for fraud.”

She reaches towards Rachel, who’s resting cozily against Stevie’s shoulder, “When I found you on Instagram girl I knew you’d be perfect for keeping David and Sebastien distracted. You've got that whole _‘artsy-girl-next-door-vibe_ ’ that this one just can't resist,” she says poking Sebastien with the heel of her shoe, “plus all of your food pics were completely to die for so I knew you'd be able to get in with David.”

“I’ll be honest this isn’t what I expected when you said you needed help revamping the brand of the gallery.”

“So I might have stretched the truth a bit, but I think we can both agree that getting rid of Sebastien will definitely improve the overall aesthetic around here.”

“And then you,” she says turning to Stevie, “first of all, you can let him go he's not going to go anywhere and he looks like he's about to pass out.”

Stevie loosened her grip slightly, taking a half step back to let Sebastien fall to the floor. 

“When I asked Ronnie to send in her best muscle I'll be honest you are not what I was expecting. But you managed to literally knock some sense into my brother and Button and obviously you know how to handle yourself in a situation,” she says looking towards Sebastien, still curled on the floor. 

“Plus I'm just loving this whole vibe you have going on,” she says fluttering her hands around Stevie’s jacket which has become incredibly more revealing during the scuffle, “I mean this is just such a sweet little girl boss team going here.”

Her rush of pride is cut off by Sebastien suddenly jumping to his full height from the floor. 

“I'm not sure what is happening here Ms. Rose, but make no mistake that you will be hearing from my father's lawyers regarding your grossly false accusations against my company and I'll be filing assault charges as well,” he says leaning towards Stevie with a sneer. The smaller woman holds her ground, casually crossing her arms as she steps into his space. 

“Yeah, you might want to let me finish here Seb,” Alexis sighs, taking a step towards the man. “You see I know all about your little securities company. How many claims exactly have been filed by galleries protected by Raine Enterprise?” 

Shock flashes across his face before he can schools his features back. Alexis continues, casually leaning against the table to relace her shoes around her ankles.

“You see at first I was just mad my brother hired you because you're a terrible person but then I realized you've actually been using your company to run a nice little insurance fraud scheme. Five of the galleries you've worked for in the past 6 months have had pieces stolen only to be sold again weeks later on the black market- I mean really you could have been a little bit more original but at least it made it easy to track you.”

Alexis steps between Sebastien and the door, picking invisible lint off the sleeve of her dress. 

“Now, I don't have all of the details but I'm sure Button is off someplace with his laptop getting exactly what we need to put a stop to this once and for all. You see my brother has had his heart broken enough times by terrible people I certainly wasn't going to let you cheat on him and then totally tank his business too.”

“It’s too bad none of your friends found the painting though,” Sebastien moves into her space, arms crossed in a deceptively casual stance, “when the police arrive here shortly they’ll have no choice but to file a report for the stolen item.”

“Well that’s where Twyla comes in, you see I made sure she found the real painting you had stashed in the air duct. It’ll be pretty confusing for the police when the actual painting is still on site.”

Sebastien goes pale, hands clenching at his sides. 

“That's a lovely story Alexis but you don't really have any proof of my involvement,” Sebastien's body is tense betraying the casual tone of his voice. “Really given that I’m still the head of security I think the police will be a little more interested in the actions of some of your _friends_ this evening.”

“Oh, I don't have any proof but I happen to know a hacker who can recover information even if it's been deleted with an admin password like I'm sure you did earlier. I gave him a rough idea of what he was looking for and I'm sure he's filled in the gaps by now.”

“Wait you know Brewer?” Stevie interrupts, shaking herself out of the shock of Alexis’s master plan. 

“How do you know Patrick?” Rachel who turns to Stevie a faint blush making her cheeks and chest irresistibly biteable. 

“If he’s who I’m thinking of I’m pretty sure he was in the office with David,” Twyla interrupts blissfully unaware of the rising awkwardness in the room. “I saw a chair under the door on my way down here so I’m guessing they wanted some privacy- though now that I think about it I’m not sure how they would have put the chair on the outside.”

“Mmmm-yeah you can stop right there babe,” Alexis says with a smile. 

“Okay,” Stevie says grabbing Rachel by the arm “as much as I’m enjoying this whole conversation given the fact that I _was_ actively trying to rob this place tonight I don't really want to be here when the cops show up and I'm guessing you don't either.”

“Since none of us actually got what we came for which seems to be the point, Alexis I assume you'll be settling up our tabs at a later time.” 

“Of course, I actually know a really great place we can go and unwind if you don't mind waiting around for a little bit while we finish up here.”

“If you're looking for some privacy there's a really comfortable bench in the screaming room upstairs,” Twyla offers, looking towards Alexis with a small smile. 

“Oh yeah _lots_ of privacy in that room,” Alexis agrees. 

“Oh my god no, please don’t tell me you had sex in my gallery Alexis”

“ Okay, fine Dav-id I won't tell you.”

David walks into the room trailed closely by Patrick and his little laptop. His eyes glance quickly over Stevie and Rachel and Sebastien in turn and he rubs his hand free hand across the back of his neck. 

“Anyone want to tell me what the fuck is going on then?”

“Ugh, I’ll explain again in a minute when the cops get here David. Patrick?” Alexis holds her hand out with a waiting smile. 

He hands Alexis a small stack of what appears to be printouts from the security camera along with a thumb drive. Alexis takes a quick look through the photos before tucking them safely back into the folder. 

“I'm so glad you found what you were looking for,” she smiles tapping him on the tip of his nose before turning back to the group. 

“So here's what we're going to do. It's pretty obvious we are all going to need a drink-”

“Or several.” Stevie pipes up.

Alexis just rolls her eyes, “since Sebastien was so kind to call the police about the little robbery here tonight David I will stay with him until they get here. In the meantime, here's my address,” she says, sending a quick text to Stevie and Rachel.

Both women jump as their phones chime simultaneously, “why don't you two finish your _‘conversation’_ and then meet us all there in say a half hour so we can debrief?”

She gives her girlfriend a quick kiss before finishing, “Twy would you mind heading back with Patrick now, maybe order some pizza while we wrap things up?” 

With that, she takes David by the hand and Sebastian by the shoulder leading the two men back towards the office suite with a force neither of them is willing to question. 


	7. Coda

Stevie can still remember that first night they all spent in Alexis’s apartment, spread across the couches and floors, a ragtag band of cons who’d somehow managed to come out of the evening the good guys.There had been a lot of awkward tension that night, all of them used to working alone and not sure how to connect the new relationships forming between them with their various shared histories.

Alexis had curled around her girlfriend like a cat, ready to relax as the rest of them explored the hidden threads connecting their lives together.

Rachel had shared the story of her and Patrick's failed relationship and dramatic final breakup. Unbeknownst to each other they had both decided to start fresh in New York, trading their small-town lives for a city more suited to their unique skill sets.

Stevie had jumped on the opportunity to impress Rachel by teasing her ex. They had worked several jobs for the same boss, the formidable Ronnie Lee who was not a fan of Patrick. The tactic seemed to work in her favor as she and Rachel snuggled closer into the couch as the night wore on, passing a bottle of white wine between them.

Patrick took the teasing in turn, offering up a few childhood stories of Rachel- much to Stevie’s delight- but he spent most of the evening nervously fluttering around David. Alexis’s brother seemed charmed by all the attention, adding a few childhood stories of Alexis's adveures to the mix. 

As the stories slowed down and the pizza disappeared the conversation came easier, eventually turning to the potential of this thing they'd built tonight. A grifter, a hitter, a thief, and a hacker all drawn together by the mind of a brilliant woman to save the business of a good man. This was new territory for all of them, failing at the hesit they'de each set out to complete, but somehow it felt like the glow of a job well done. 

Three years later and they've grown from a reluctant set of accomplices into a sort of found family where everyone fits in. They've added a few sets of rings and vows to the mix, exs and enemies and friends settling into somthing that feels right. They work together to provide a little leverage where its needed in the world. 


End file.
